If

If I could leave you
without leaving you
I would

But I can’t

I can only leave
without saying goodbye

If I could kiss you
without loving you
I would

But I can’t

I can only kiss you
with all my being

If I could have sex with you
without making love
I would

But I can’t

I can only give myself to you
whole and uninterrupted

If I could only be a bird
without needing to fly
I would

But I can’t

A bird isn’t a bird
If it doesn’t use its wings

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What Loneliness Is and Isn’t

Loneliness isn’t
that single oasis in the middle of the desert,
nor that solitary candle in a dark lit night.

It isn’t
that single goldfish swimming back and forth
in your small glass bowl

nor that one rose
in an empty garden.

Loneliness is
that guy
burning through parties every night,
hoping for a fleeting moment,
his emptiness filled
by the booze and sex
the night has to offer.

Loneliness is
that moment when you find yourself
wanting to celebrate a victory,
but find no one to share it with.

Loneliness is
that feeling
of having gotten everything in the world
and yet somehow something is lacking.

Loneliness isn’t
being alone with no one to talk to.

Loneliness is
being surrounded by so many people,
none of whom sees the real you.

Loneliness isn’t an island.
It’s a sea of people
moving through you and past you.
It’s a storm of empty days and empty moments,
going through the motions
and hoping that just for one day
your emptiness is filled.

Loneliness isn’t a state of being alone,
but a state of not being fully understood.

Birth

From the dark I was born
With one setting: forlorn
On my lips, smiles are forsworn
In my eyes, light is torn

In that madness, a man was formed
In that sadness, emotions stormed
In that darkness, thoughts swarmed
In that blight, a soul malformed

From that shadow, grew great big wings
A bluebird awakens and spontaneously sings
From floor to walls, up to the ceilings
His voice shall fill you with his feelings

Rhyme to rhyme, and corner to corner
His words shall fill you with its power
And when you’re done hearing him after
The world suddenly isn’t as brighter

But his power has a price
He can’t live forever, cast in ice
On and on, as he flies
His life burns as sacrifice

Knowing the end he had but two choices
Continue on until he crashes
or stop now and kill his verses

So he does, the only sensible thing
He flies his last
in one great big singing

From that death, a child was born
In the darkness, it was forlorn.

I Was Forever In Love With You My Dear

I was forever in love with you my dear
though sometimes you hardly hear
nor see it much or even fear
this bloke’s eyes do wander to your peers

Yet day by day I do love you
even though my ways may sometimes fail you
all the things I never do for you
against the things you never see are for you

The things you ask I cannot give
For what I wish is that we simply live
For each moment swiftly passes through
like sand through a tiny sieve

No overt gestures nor exaggerated claim shall I make
nor public showing of everlasting love which i see are all fake
but these i do give for your sake
my self, my mind, my ever precious time please do take

I was forever in love with you my dear
I was a bird in the sky that alighted on your shoulders
You asked me to stay a while and forgo flying
And for a while I did

But all birds, sooner or later will yearn to fly
so let them be or let them die

I was forever in love with you my dear
But alas, no more I fear
In place of dreams you have asked for practicality
In place of wings you have asked for security
In place of flying you have asked for walking
In place of songs you have asked for droning

So my wings I cut off
My songs I forgot
My dreams I put off
My flight, short I did cut

You fell in love with a bird
but I was a bird no more
I was forever in love with you my dear
as a bird
not as a tattered wing in a cage

Old Man by the Sea

Come here softly, sit by my side
Let your presence be my tender guide
Let your voice drone over the rushing tide
Let your touch bring out the feelings I cannot hide

Come here softly, take my warm embrace
though I cannot see your lovely face
though I can only hear empty space
let me have my one last taste

Of your laugh that I once enjoyed
Of your hand I always held
Of your stories that were endless
Of your presence full of life

By the sea now I see a light
my darling baby, I go tonight
Do not mourn me for all is right
You have loved me with all your might

Phoenix

I cannot love you now
For I go by a route where love is shunned
where minds get lost and come undone
and everyday there is no sun

I cannot love you now
For I go to a place where only I can walk
a place I used to haunt and stalk
where I was born and learned to walk

I cannot love you now
For love exists not in this place
and happiness is only a mystery
better left unsolved

In here I go to get my wings back
In here I go to fly again
In here I let my madness loose
In here my songs I shall unleash

I cannot love you now
but maybe later I can love you again
for once a bird, I came out of this place
maybe soon, I shall be a bird again

Moneyless

We work and toil for useless things
yet never more for our imaginings
Of hope and dreams did passion die
yet truer things shall never lie

Of one small thing I am most sure
following the crowd is not the cure
New lands are discovered not by followers
but by fearless men, adventurers and explorers

The world will force you to conform
But this is when you must be firm
For all of them are sheep and blind
With cotton candies for their mind

So fight for what you believe in
Do what you always love
Love only those you mean to
and never be sorry for all of the above

One day the world will see
Things shouldn’t be the way it is now
But selfishness, greed, and pride abound
And so we get suffering, round and round

But one day they shall see
when that day comes
we shall work and toil no more
for money as a construct would have ceased to exist

I Love All Things Sweet and Easy

I love all things sweet and easy
I hate working hard, I’m lazy as fuck
I like it just nice and dandy
I hate working in the muck

To facilitate laziness, I am more efficient
I find ways to work faster and better
Working for the sake of work, I shan’t
Not now, not tomorrow, not ever

To avoid working hard, I work smarter
not the drudgery of fools who insist on rules
there’s always a way to make things better
“no there ain’t!” insist the fools

I love all things sweet and easy
but you weren’t always sweet and you were never easy
I love you nonetheless for your sturdiness
You who never saw work that went unheeded
and never refused overtime even when none is needed

It may be hard to distinguish between a narcissist and a hedonist
but trust me, a narcissist will never refuse a selfie
while a hedonist will never refuse a day off.

Past, Present, Future

I loved you before I ever loved you
before thoughts were words
and words were kisses

I loved you before I ever loved you
When feelings were just a glimpse
a blimp in the vast emptiness of my heart

I loved you before I ever loved you
when the idea of it was just a figment
in the furthest reaches of my mind

I loved you before I ever loved you
and when I finally loved you
I’ll love you after I loved you.