I loved you before I ever loved you
before thoughts were words
and words were kisses
I loved you before I ever loved you
When feelings were just a glimpse
a blimp in the vast emptiness of my heart
I loved you before I ever loved you
when the idea of it was just a figment
in the furthest reaches of my mind
I loved you before I ever loved you
and when I finally loved you
I’ll love you after I loved you.
If there was two of me and only one of you
And you only fell in love with one of me
Then how shall the story come to be
When the other one rises out of the tomb?
‘Tis forever our dilemma
to either show night or day but never both
for who could love both the sun and moon
in their extreme polarity?
But if there was two of me
and there was two of you
one of me says
he wants a tryst
Imagine you were a blazing ball of fire
Burning hot, burning bright, burning everything in sight
Imagine feeling this all the time you are on tilt
Sylvia Plath put her head in the oven
Virginia Woolf drowned herself
and Hemingway shot himself
There’s no easy way to say this so I’ll not lie
I killed my fire so I’ll not die
But now I’m ready, so let it be
The fire is lit and so am I
Witness me
My heart is yearning for that dark, crazy magic,
reaching out for that ever attractive neurosis
like a firefly attracted to its death.
O heart be still.
Learn to love this peaceful life –
where nothing ever happens.
Mornings are when I’m crashing,
and every so often I lose control,
and there’s that bluebird in me singing:
wouldn’t you just like to go out a bit,
even if your whole world burns because of it?
But I am strong,
and I tell my bluebird:
keep in your song.
It won’t be long before I’m gone,
and you can sing all your songs
to your heart’s content.
So I watch the world go by,
like a firefly stuck in glue.
Waiting for the time when I’ll die,
leaving my bluebird to fly.
But wouldn’t you just love it a little bit,
if I let him out for a peek,
and hear the wonderful songs he’s singing in my heart?
They’re there in the shadows
watching whoever follows
They’re there in the corners
just right behind your shoulders
They’re the unspoken sigh
to your weekend high
They’re the unshackled breath
to your awaiting death
They’re the morning fairies
They’re the afternoon daisies
They’re your evening’s fantasies
They’re your dawn’s singing prairies
So come with me now and sing:
Artists breed artists
and music breeds music
and candles that burn twice as bright
burn half as long
and the music is bursting inside me
calling me to burn
burn twice as bright
burn half as long
burn twice as bright
burn half as long
and the music is bursting inside me
calling me to burn
burn twice as bright
burn half as long
One day, my soul died
So I laid on my bed
and waited
in vain, I waited
I was nine
when the urge first took me
the blackest mood swooped upon me
and all I could think of
was sticking a fork right through my heart
and all the while I kept saying
this too shall pass
I was thirteen
when I first learned the black moods could be harnessed
and the deepest, darkest words flowed out of me
into a river of poetry and imagery
all the while I kept saying
this too shall pass
I was sixteen
when my world bloomed
and black moods gave way to uncontrollable euphoria
unceasing energy and endless insomnia
and all the while I kept saying
this too shall pass
I was twenty-one when I learned control
and my life seemed to gain a bit of order
but self-destructive habits were hard to break
and I kept getting back into the same old cycle
knowing there’s no way out of this
but to keep the refrain going
saying: this too shall pass
Now I’m nearing forty and there’s only grey behind me
the ebb and flow of time is long past behind me
for all those like me
I know it’s hard, but you have to keep faith
Whenever the urge takes you
just say it together with me:
This too shall pass
We’ll see better days and better memories
But for now, let the dark clouds run over
and let the blackbirds pass
.. at lumipas ang mga araw
at ang mga buwan ay naging taon.
At ang awit ng kalungkutan ay nagpatuloy sa pagtugtog,
pilit na ibinabaon ang pighati at luha…
umaagos at tumatagos sa damdamin at kaluluwa.
Isang patalim na nakasusugat,
tulad ng iyong mga matang
puno ng lungkot at pamumugto.
Tumutupad ako sa aking pangako
na kailanma’y di ka na mamahalin.
Ngunit ang puso ko’y sadyang mapagpaalala
na ako ay mahina at marupok.
… at lumipas ang mga taon.
Ang kalungkuta’y naging kabaliwan.
at sa kabaliwang iyon ay —
katahimikan.
Patuloy sa pagtugtog ang himig.
Kahit kailanma’y di ko inisip na ako’y iyong patatawarin.
Subalit kung ang araw ay dumating
na ako’y iyong hanapin,
sundan mo ang hangin…
patungo sa puntod ko’y tatahakin.
I have come to my resting place.
Where the air is fresh
and the wind is cool
Where the rocks are white
and the sands are fine
Where the trees are dense
and the land is lush
and the heavens and stars
refresh your soul at night.
I will remove the ropes
and untie the boat.
I have come to my resting place.
I have come to my resting place.
Where the birds fly free
and the fishes swim deep
Where horses run wild
and foxes go tame
Where sheep cry silently
and crickets do not hum
and the water and the ocean
gently lap at your feet while you sleep.
I will gather the wool
and whisper the prayer of the wild.
I have come to my resting place.
I have come to my resting place.
I have spent my whole life
searching for a place to die
Where sunset shall give way
to a beautiful morn
and its brilliant streaks
reflecting in the horizon
I will go in the wind
and set up the sail
I will fly in the sky
and soar with the birds
I have come to my resting place.
I shall not die in vain.
I have come to my resting place.
Where the wind is now picking up
and the waves are starting to build
Where the crickets are now humming
and the sheep starting to weep
I can hear the fox howl
as the sail catches wind
and my boat starts to move.
There, these prayers of the wild
will not be forgotten.
I have come to my resting place.
So now, I shall be on my way.
I wish sometimes that you were of easy heart
the heart that least worries and smiles most
that smiles often and frowns least
that appreciates more and feels disappointed less
I wish sometimes that you would just feel glad
without apprehensions, expectations or accusations
feel glad unconditionally just because
we’re alive and we feel loved
I wish sometimes that you would just see
how rich we truly are
and how happy we could be
if you just throw away your negativity
Life is not made wonderful by what happens to us
but by what we think of what happens to us
Both of you happened to me.
That makes me rich.
And I am happy.
Please join me.
Potpourri 